Multiple f’n sclerosis

The 2 year anniversary of my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis is coming soon, and that got me thinking. What the heck have I done to be well? How do I feel? What does living with MS look like for me? Heavy questions that can be pretty friggin overwhelming if you ponder them too long. So, why not parcel it out into smaller snippets that can be hashed out one by one? There you have the inspiration for M F’n S!

My intent is for this blog to have a meld of personal journal-type entries, tips & tricks I have found to make living with MS easier, and my experiences with MS drugs. I will admit that part of my motivation to capture all of my experiences now is that sometimes I feel the brain fog taking over. Sometimes I worry the damn haziness will cloud my memory so much that I can’t get a clear picture of my journey. 

I guess I want to have a sort of continuous time capsule that will hopefully not only help me but also other MSers. Multiple sclerosis can be so maddening because how you feel (and what specifically is bothering you) can change what feels like a million times a day. There are so many nit-picky symptoms that pop up, it would take a personal assistant to remember everything. So, there you have it…M F’n S- a cut through the BS blog about living with MS is born!

Who the heck am I and why would you listen to me? Well, maybe you shouldn’t?! I am a 40-something woman with MS who has no real credentials to assist anyone. What I can offer is sharing my story and hopefully entertaining you. I would love to get the occasional laugh, and more importantly, I hope to get the, “oh wow, she gets it, that’s how I feel.”

I’ll stop here for just a moment and throw in a link to the National MS Society. If you are recently diagnosed, this is a good place to start. There are a ton of resources that are way more sciencey than anything you will get here! Just come back when you are ready for some anecdotal fun.

Anyhoo, this is my first big time with a chronic illness and I understand now why people feel so isolated. Specifically, I understand feeling like no one really gets what’s going on. It can feel like my body is now an alien host and 100% out of my control (and not in a cool alien abduction way). I can assure you that F’s with the mind and widdles away at my confidence.

Let’s be clear, I am not going to be Debbie Downer because that isn’t going to help anyone. But, I’m also not going to be Pollyanna either. MS sucks a lot of the time but for the most part, it is still a very live withable disease. I mean if there were takebacks I would hand it the F back but I do pretty ok coping on the day-to-day. For me, there is solace in balance, so you will get the good with the bad!

I spend a lot of time talking/thinking about living with MS but I also have lots of other interests. It feels important to remember all of the things I love that have nothing to do with my illness! I imagine a lot of these things will be showing up in the blog, so here’s a sneak peek.

Food- I know everyone says they love food but I really do LOVE food. My favorite part of travel planning is mapping out all the meal stops. For the most part, I will try anything and have a special place in my heart for Indian cuisine and seafood. Bring on the scallops!

Travel- Again, not very original but I genuinely love to travel. Ever since I was a kid writing short stories about rainforest adventures, I have squirreled away any extra money for future travel. I regularly do the math of how the cost of one thing could equal a plane ticket to some faraway place.

Hiking- I am at my best when I’m out on the trail. There is something about a destination that can only be reached by foot that brings me a special kind of peace. I used to be more of a mountain top destination hiker but now I find joy in any trail that brings me out into the wilderness.

Plants- In a different life, I would probably be a famous botanist. Since that isn’t really a thing I’ll stick with amateur botany and annoying anyone who will listen with the scientific names of plants. I love gardening, plant medicine, botanic gardens, and just sitting and staring at plants.